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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22997650">Devil's Lettuce</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailcatpuppy/pseuds/snailcatpuppy'>snailcatpuppy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Recreational Drug Use, Sleeping Together</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:08:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22997650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailcatpuppy/pseuds/snailcatpuppy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mammon smokes weed now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Devil's Lettuce</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mammon was sitting on your bed with you, like usual. He was showing you memes from his D.D.D. and you were learning quite a bit about Devildom pop culture. One picture was a scary looking demon smoking a blunt and drinking a martini with a little bow tie.<br/>
"I didn't know demons smoked weed too." Mammon laughed a little, since he wasn't the dumb one for once.<br/>
"Why do you think it's called devil's lettuce? Geez, what a dumb human you can be." You knew he wasn't being malicious, the glimmer in his eyes gave him away.<br/>
"So you smoke?" You asked casually, and giggled as Mammon found another meme featuring a demonified Snoop Dogg.<br/>
"Well, I mean sometimes yeah." He shrugged.<br/>
"Cool." You replied. There was a pause. "I mean I've smoked before, but it's been a while." You ran your hands through your hair absentmindedly.<br/>
"I'd offer you some, but I don't know if a human like you could handle it." He teased a little.<br/>
"Well, as long as I have you there to take care of me, what's the worst that could happen?" You nudged his shoulder with yours and smiled at him. He stared for a moment.<br/>
"Well, I mean, I am THE Mammon." He looked away and puffed up his chest a little, but you could see his cheeks turn rosy. He quickly turned to face you. "You can't get high with anyone else, just me, okay?" He almost demanded.<br/>
"Sounds fair to me." You agreed.<br/>
"Good. I wouldn't trust any of the others." He stood up and headed towards the door, so you got up to follow him. You walked with him all the way to his room, where you paused when he opened the door. "You coming?"<br/>
"Oh, yeah of course." He held the door as you entered his room, and he closed the door behind him. His room was nice, but a little messy. He led you up the stairs, toward the car he kept in his room.<br/>
"Ladies first." He grinned, opening the passenger door, and you slipped inside. Mammon sat in the driver's seat, and reclined his seat some. You copied him and he leaned towards you, opening the glove box in front of you. There was a golden lighter, and a small metal case. He grabbed them both and opened the case to reveal about a dozen neatly rolled joints. He carefully picked one and put it between his lips. The spark of the lighter made his eyes seem to glow, and he inhaled deeply before blowing smoke towards the windowshield. It smelled a little like what you had had on Earth, but it also smelled like.. money? Like fresh dollar bills. 
"Huh." It was definitely very Mammon.
"Your turn." He handed you the joint, and he lit it for you, putting the lighter on his side of the dashboard before putting up his feet. You breathed in and held it for a couple of moments before you exhaled, coughing a bit. Mammon reached for the joint and you handed it to him, feeling tingly where his hands touched yours. You knew it was probably just the smoke starting to fill the car, but you couldn't stop thinking about how gorgeous Mammon looked. His hair was a little messy and his lips looked soft as he blew smoke into the air, then reached to turn on the radio. You didn't recognize the music, but it wasn't bad either. Mammon took another hit before he motioned to pass it to you. Your eyes locked and he blushed. 
"Are you gonna take it before it burns out or what?" You snapped back to the moment. Impulsively, you leaned forward and took it into your mouth.
"Looh, no hans!" You giggled around the joint, and Mammon blushed profusely before turning his head the other way. Using your left hand, you lightly grasped his wrist in an attempt to get him to hold still. You sucked up as much as you could in one breath, even puffing up your cheeks to hold it all in for a breath while Mammon's face filled with surprise. You laughed out smoke, letting go of his wrist. "This stuff is great!" You expressed.
 "Only the best for the best." He shrugged nonchalantly. 
 "Awhh!" You leaned on his side, feeling him tense up. "You really think I'm the best?" You teased. He coughed.
 "I mean, you aren't bad for a human I suppose.." He pretended to consider.
 "You aren't bad for a demon either, Mammon." You felt him relax into your touch, letting you rest your head in his shoulder. The joint was near the end, and Mammon let you finish it, savoring the buzz that floated through your brain. The music now was slower, almost jazzy, and you watched the haze slowly disperse. In the mirror, you could tell by Mammon's face that he was, metaphorically, in heaven. His head swayed with the music and he hummed along, only slightly off beat. You giggled and reached over to turn up the music he obviously enjoyed. Who knows how long you two were there, lost in each other's company and the car's radio. Soon enough, though, your eyes felt almost too heavy and you were thirsty. 
 "Hey Mammon?"
 "Yeah?" He turned clumsily in his seat to face you, and you stifled another giggle. He was obviously more enthusiastic than usual, and you wondered if it was the weed talking. 
 "You have anything to drink?" You asked, licking your chapped lips. 
 "Oh yeah, lemme check." He reached into the back of the car, leaving his seat. You got a decent look at his ass too.
 "Nice." You heard yourself say. Mammon turned around with two cans in both hands.
 "What'd you say?" He asked you, confusion in his eyebrows.
 "Nothing." You lied. He was still confused, but he handed you a can of your favorite human world soda. "Aw sweet, you remembered!" Your face lit up and he took pride in a job well done. Suddenly, you lunged towards him, wrapping him in a hug. 
 "I mean, of course I did!" He panicked a little, putting his arms around you loosely, like he was afraid to actually hug you back. You let him go and opened your can with a pop and a hiss, and he fumbled with his for a moment before opening it. After a few good chugs, you set the can in the cupholder and surprised yourself with a burp. You quickly covered up your mouth, but Mammon burst into laughter. His laughter is contagious, and you put your hand down to giggle with him.
 "Watch THIS." He said, and he tilted his head back, chugging the can. His Adam's apple bobbed and you cheered him on, before he let out one of the loudest belches you've ever heard. You laughed out of control with him, even snorting a little.
 "Wait, wait, I have a trick too!" You held down your giggling, and opened the glove box. "You mind lighting another?" He raised an eyebrow, but obliged. You inhaled and held the smoke, then chugged the rest of your drink, before you belched a huge cloud of smoke. Mammon laughed and so did you, coughing in between. When the smoke between you cleared, you slowly realized your eyes were locked. His eyes were red and his eyelids looked heavy, but his face was plastered with such a fond look that you found yourself leaning in. You remembered the joint and broke eye contact to check which hand it was in. When you turned back, Mammon had reclined almost all the way. You did the same and laid on your side, offering him the joint. He took it and inhaled, blankly staring at the roof of the car. You yawned and checked the time. It was already past curfew. 
 "Hey Mammon?" You almost whispered.
 "What?" He turned towards you, accidentally blowing smoke towards your face. You didn't really mind, but you were melting into the seats and if you stayed much longer you might fall asleep on accident. Mammon wasn't talking nearly as much as usual, but you figured that it was the weed. 
 "I think.. after this one I need to head to bed." You yawned. 
 "You want any more of this one?" He offered. You shrugged and held his hand again, bringing the joint to your lips, brushing them against his finger on accident. You closed your eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Mammon gently pulled his hand away and you exhaled, releasing your grip. Almost shakily, he inhaled the rest of the joint and put it out. The smoke made it hard to see his face, but you could see him blushing still. A long moment passed, and you could tell he didn't want you to go, and, honestly, you didn't feel like leaving. 
 "Hey Mammon?" You leaned into his shoulder.
 "Yeah?" He tilted his head onto yours.
 "I think I'm too high to walk back to my room." You weren't really lying. You COULD walk to your room, but if Lucifer caught you like this.. you don't want to consider it. 
 "I mean, this is pretty potent stuff." He shrugged. "I'll help you down the stairs." He got out of the car and walked over to your side, almost tripping. You gripped the handrail with one hand, the other arm locked in his. You were leaning on each other, both high as a cloud. At the bottom of the stairs, Mammon leaned towards his couch, but you pulled the other way. 
 "I said I wanted to go to bed, not sleep on the couch." You grumbled, and he gave in. You fell into his bed, and climbed under the sheets. The lights turned off, and he joined you under the covers. The sheets were silk, but cold, so you wriggled closer to Mammon, nuzzling yourself into his arms, much to his surprise. You heard his heart beat, and he cautiously put a hand on your head and played with your hair. Soon, you found your eyes closed and you were cozy in his embrace. You could swear you heard him purr, but by then you were already drifting off to sleep.</p>
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